Let girls live as they are: Kids

The suffocating beauty duty that parents put on girls’ shoulders

Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash

Women are trained since their childhood to care about their physical appearance first. To me, diamonds are a girl’s best friend, only if that “girl” is a teenager or an immature person, who stayed a teenager, even when biologically has moved forward. And if so, the responsibility is hers.
But, we can’t overlook the fact that adults have planted a beauty obsession in her path during her first years in life.

Little girls have beauty reminders around them all the time. “Oh! You‘re so pretty!”, “Your dress is fabulous!”, “What a princess you are!”, “Oh, you and your pink nails!”, “Where did you find these beautiful earrings?”, “These shoes are fantastic, girl”! And even worse: “Let me take a picture of you and post it on Facebook”!

Why do we push females to image-mania?

It’s common fact that trade’s survival depends a lot on women. Not only when it comes to products, but services as well. Especially services that promise to keep her young, to renew her skin, to lift her breasts and eyelashes, to bit up cellulite, to refresh every little inch of her body. She feeds the system with money and the system feeds her with the illusion of eternal youth.

Of course, the female gender comes to this world with “femininity” in its …suitcases anyway. Obviously. But this is not the only thing women have. They also have spirituality and the ability to think. If we present to them —during the first five years that determine most of the characteristics of adulthood — one of these(beauty and physical appearance) as the top priority issue, it’s like we predetermine their route in life in a large percentage.

Parents usually forget a very important thing about parenting;
their children are not just children. They also are future adults.
And what they‘ll become as adults, has its basic roots in childhood.

When a girl takes on her shoulders beauty as a fundamental duty, you can understand what a heavy load that must be. She carries it for the rest of her life, and she must serve it — among other things — . Of course, many of these “other things” have possibly been influenced by that and affect her behavior, because the subconscious is very powerful. She has to do a lot of work with herself to become aware of it, to learn that she is more than this, to debunk it, and to accept reality (our material part is perishable).

People think that words are just words. No. Words are messages.
And they influence us, especially during childhood.
For example, when a kid listens repeatedly “you can’t make it”, a belief has already been established in their mind.
This kid becomes an adult who believes he can’t make it.
He/She may not say it at all, but their actions reflect it.

Pregnant women expecting girls, usually describe all their plans with phrases like “I will dress her and put pink bows on her hair”, “I will buy her shoes of the same color as her dresses” etc.
My God! Why?
Didn’t you play with your dolls when you were a child?
And, if not, is it something that your kid has to replenish?
Did your mom do that to you?
If yes, do you have to “mechanically” repeat it without critical thinking?
And, if she didn’t, and you (mis)interpreted it as a lack of attention, is this the way you deal with that experience of yours?
By filling your gap or “healing” your dissatisfaction using your child as a punching bag?

Let’s allow and encourage girls to live as they are: Kids.
Let them exist in their childhood as children, who need to play on the ground without the agony of the possible dirt on their clothes.
Give them the “space” to express themselves, to wear simple clothes, to run,
to be. To just be, without labels. Without the duty of being pretty and fashionable. With no worries about being stainless — both literally and metaphorically — all day long!
Because this “box” in which we put them, is suffocating.
It is clearly enslavement.

Unlock your inner cage, to let them be free, too…

Anthi Psomiadou — CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 International : Credit must be given to the creator/ Only noncommercial uses of the work are permitted/ No derivatives

Writing, Life Coaching, Criminology, and more. But I simply do these, I am not these. I just am.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store